How Not to Be Jealous in a Relationship, Is It Possible? 3 Best Ways
You oft take hold of yourself scared that your girl might see other people.
Maybe you continuously inquire what she is doing.
Sweat breaks out if you don't hear from her for a few hours.
It'southward clear. You are jealous and afraid to lose her. And then you behave overly controlling.
Here'due south the paradox. Past being extremely controlling you WILL lose her. Then I am here to requite you how to not exist jealous in your relationship. Making you two happy together for the long run.
In this article yous get:
- 3 Tips how to no be jealous in a relationship
- Destructive jealousy decoded: Recognize information technology by these signs
- Where jealousy really comes from
- How to end being jealous and controlling (+ how to deal with jealousy in a relationship)
- What y'all can practise if your partner is overly attached
- Iii must-have tips that will assist y'all overcome morbid jealousy faster than Houdini unlocked shackles
- And much more tips on overcoming jealousy…
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How jealousy killed my relationship
In front of you lies the handbag of your date / girlfriend / wife and in information technology her phone.
Yous see information technology unprotected in front of you.
Have y'all waited a long time for this moment? The showtime touch already turns you on massively. Man…this time, you had to wait reaaaally long for it.
Your mouth is watering equally if there was no tomorrow.
Finally, you can spy on her by every fox in the volume:
- "I wonder who wrote to her?"
- "I wonder who she's writing with these days?"
- "I wonder which photos she hides from me in her gallery?"
F*ck!
She activated her central code…
Maybe this situation sounds familiar to you, bro.
I'm talking about jealousy. More than specifically: Morbid jealousy.
The envy monster.
I still remember how jealous I was when I first dated a woman with whom everything was just right.
She was not just cute, able-bodied, and an absolute grenade in bed.
Nope.
This lovely dame shared the same passions as I did:
- She was enthusiastic nearly personal development
- She was exceptionally spontaneous and adventurous
- She loved to listen to Mozart painting masterpieces
- She maintained an fifty-fifty more gigantic meme and GIF drove than I did
We constantly inspired each other in our creativity, as if we were muses for each other and experienced the most epic things.
But because she was so special and rather a lucky pick for me (because at that fourth dimension I certainly didn't know how to approach women in whatsoever state of affairs and we met each other rather by chance), I was incredibly afraid of losing her.
I turned into a paranoid ghoul, driven past compulsive checking, and somewhen lost her.
Possibly y'all just started dating your eleven/10, you are in a relationship with her or married to her, and feel how jealousy grows inside you lot day by day.
If y'all don't want to lose the incredible woman at your side, I recommend you to open your ears and optics.
Morbid jealousy: The relationship killer #1
What's wrong with beingness jealous, anyway?
- "If someone is jealous, it but means they care about you."
- "Your partner is only trying to protect you."
These interpretations have surely crossed your path earlier.
Perchance your lady has even given you a…
- "I recollect information technology's cute when you lot're jealous."
- "Information technology's okay if you lot're jealous. That shows me that you lot intendance a lot nigh me." or
- "I think it's incredibly masculine of y'all to want to protect me."
… if you felt jealous and she noticed.
But have such statements always reassured y'all?
Yous probably experience even more insecure after her calming attempts.
"Does she like seeing me jealous? " , yous might ask yourself.
Later all, she thinks it'south 'sugariness' to run across you like this.
And that might fifty-fifty make you more paranoid.
Information technology's like trying to put out a forest burn with a flamethrower.
And honestly – take yous ever seen anyone who could successfully put out a fire this style?
Probably non.
So, she makes such remarks to reassure yous, but is often unaware that she's only doing the following:
Increasing your demand for controlling her even more.
And often to such an extent that it'due south reflected in your overall behavior towards her.
You become a puppet of your own fears and…
- Possessive
- Paranoid
- Needy
- Clingy
Until you constrain her in her freedom so much that she wants to pause upwardly with you.
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Our nowadays time is a technological blessing
We can talk to emigrated compañeros via Facetime, check the weather in Mozambique on a live stream, and fifty-fifty order exotic goat smegma in buckets via i-Click on Amazon…
But avant-garde technology also carries a big curse in its blessing…
We can track exactly WHO does WHAT and WHEN.
Whether it'due south Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat…
Lisa'south nibbles strawberry yogurt with fruit chunks?
Yous already know, thanks to her posts.
As if that wasn't enough, Snapchat Geo View also gives yous highly accurate information about where a person is currently located (as long as they have this characteristic enabled).
She wanted to come straight home after piece of work, so what is she doing now at Central Park?
NSA?
Bitch, delight.
It has NEVER been easier to spy on the lives of your acquaintances and fall into a frenzy of jealousy.
But how can you tell whether you lot're really suffering from morbid jealousy?
Tell from these signals if you lot're suffering from subversive jealousy
From a subtle remark to loud confrontations:
The 'green-eyed monster' (how Shakespeare called information technology) can wear a wide diverseness of costumes.
Typical signals of jealousy are:
- Your partner in crime is invited to a party. 'Are in that location whatever men there?' or a similar remark comes from you while y'all're feeling extremely nervous
- You lot're in a bar together. A guy's coming by to talk to your chosen ane. You cantankerous your arms and are angry, hurt, or sorry that she is talking to him. Greet him? Y'all wouldn't think of information technology fifty-fifty in a dream.
- You control her more than the High german Stasi always could: You lot want to certificate every motion of her. Her mobile telephone is lying unattended in front of you, or she forgot to switch off her laptop? You can't imagine annihilation improve than that. Time to have a close look at whom she's hanging out with!
- 'She can do anything with anyone every bit long equally it's not fun, ' is the motto later y'all take care of your relationship with her.
- Paranoia Palatial: I wonder if she really goes out to dinner with Tiffany? What if she meets someone more bonny than y'all? This is your worst nightmare.
Sounds obvious, right?
But it becomes morbid when your paranoia towards her is one thing:
Absolutely unfounded.
Although she loves you and assures you lot every day that y'all're her number one, you cannot believe her words.
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Instead, like Drake, you could sing a whole vocal about your 'trust issues' and eventually scare her off with your doubts, so that one day she actually leaves you.
"But why do I feel like this, Dan?"
50 points for Gryffindor – excellent question Mister BROtter.
The birth of the light-green-eyed monster
Permit me innovate you lot:
This here is Jeff.
Jeff is one of the reasons why nosotros men are more likely to go our asses kicked at the idea of our partner performing the lustful human action of coitus with another.
Women, on the other hand, are more than probable to feel these negative emotions when they imagine that their potential Mr. Right is emotionally shut to another woman – for instance, fall in love with another woman and leave her for her.
This phenomenon tin be traced in countless studies.
Why is that?
In the lifetime of our Stone Historic period-friend Jeff, there were saber-toothed tigers and mammoths, merely i crucial thing DIDN'T be:
A DNA test.
If Mrs. Caveman was pregnant, in that location was no paternity test.
And then, how can Jeff exist sure that the miniature cavemen really come from his precious seed and not from some other shaggy-haired comrade?
And what if tribes or rabid animals effort to impale his meaning Mrs. Caveman and the unborn child cold-bloodedly?
How would it exist for Mrs. Cavemen, anyway, if Jeff left her for another woman he fell in love with and no 1 cared for her deviling after information technology'south birth?
Jeff and his descendants formed a certain highly sensitive feeling over thousands of years.
An overcautiousness that should forestall these risks…
You guessed correct, amigo:
Jealousy.
Yes, by now, chances that your called one gets eaten by a mammoth aren't then high anymore…
Thanks to protective institutions of the government such equally the constabulary or the army, it's at present really possible to go out onto the streets without getting instantly murdered.
But like our coccyx, this is a remnant that we have inherited from our ancestors.
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We should be grateful for that.
I mean, it would besides be relatively psychopathic if you didn't care if your princess was molested by a shady people.
And when your chosen one knows that you love her, she will be more than relaxed most planning some offspring.
Afterwards all, your potential children volition then be raised past two parties, savor full parental intendance, and are probably better off financially.
Jealousy is something nosotros ALL have within us – for thousands of years.
Simply this is only part of the reason why you lot tin can feel jealousy in your body.
Morbid jealousy usually arises for deeper reasons such every bit:
- Lack of cocky-conviction
- Inferiority complexes
- Fear of losing your xi/10
Similar many fears, these cronies frequently stalk from traumas you may accept experienced during your upbringing.
- Did you use to have to fight a lot for the recognition and love of others?
- Take you always been abandoned by a parent?
- Did you ever feel like you couldn't delight anybody, and like y'all were never good enough?
The mental pain that results from this tin can negatively influence not only your beliefs merely also your key beliefs.
"I must exercise everything possible to brand certain that she Merely does something with me." – can then quickly become your universal formula, so that your life is adamant by the green-eyed monster.
- Are you ready to have your life into your ain easily from today?
- Are y'all tired of being dominated past fear and uncertainty?
- Practice you want to rekindle your relationship from now on and transform yourself into a cocky-determined, attractive man she tin hardly keep her hands off?
Aye?
Absurd, allow's become!
Here are my tips for you:
Tip #1: Sharpen your focus
When your lady is out with her friends once more and doesn't answer your messages or calls, information technology'due south like shooting fish in a barrel to imagine the most terrifying horror scenarios.
But just considering she'due south unavailable right now, a part of you will certainly agree with me when I say:
Logically, this doesn't mean annihilation yet.
What role of you do you recollect would meliorate your relationships with women?
The office that imagines endless horror scenarios of your lady throwing a bukkake party with your best friends?
Or the realistic, relaxed function in y'all that is sure that nothing of that is happening and trusts her?
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What you believe vs. What she actually does
The voice of jealousy:
- She's probably at a house party of her colleague, that sleazy Daniel.
. - She probably turned her prison cell telephone off so that I tin can't reach her.
- Now she'll probably let some other horny guy flirt and touch on her.
- I bet she got boozer and let Daniel have her doggy.
.
.
. - At present she'due south probably expecting me to reward her for her misdeeds – I'chiliad going to teach her a lesson!!
The Reality:
- She is at a friend's housewarming party and is looking frontward to her Girls Night.
- It'south probably only too loud to get air current that y'all have tried to contact her several times.
- She dances and sings with her friends.
. - Because she likes the party so much, she forgets all sense of time and doesn't even realize that she will exist dwelling house two hours later than announced.
- After sharing a taxi with her friend, she arrives home and is looking forward to cuddling up side by side to you
Exercise yous experience what the feeling of jealousy can do to you if y'all permit it boss yous?
You lot showtime acting as if your worst fears accept already come truthful.
And what do you recall your ma'am thinks, if y'all nevertheless don't trust him – even though she proves to y'all how unreasonable your fears are?
Well, she takes the function you give her:
"He's already convinced that I'1000 cheating on him. And so what difference does it brand if I really do? He doesn't trust me anyway."
Et voilá, mon ami.
A cheating woman but has been built-in.
If y'all actually desire to prevent this self-fulfilling prophecy, I rather recommend the following:
Brand fun of your feelings of jealousy.
Every time you observe that a feeling of potent jealousy arises, you ridicule these emotions.
How?
By comparing your fears with the most serious problems of the people of our planet.
I know that this is not the most positive way, and some may find this form of coping morally reprehensible…
But when I feel shitty, here's what I do occasionally:
I spotter videos from charities.
Whether it's UNICEF (United nations Children's Fund), WFP (World Food Plan) or ILO (International Labor Organization) – when I run across videos of starving, poor, maybe even sick or disabled people, I rapidly realize again how damn good I actually have information technology and how tiny my problems really are.
This tip, which may seem foreign to you, I sometimes suggest some of my clients when they are trapped in their head.
You should try it too.
The moment you expect at the clips, you volition probably feel a sense of deep shame.
You lot realize that your paranoid feelings are far away from the essential problems of Mother Earth.
Not but does that help you stay focused.
No.
You lot also realize that it's not all about you.
At least that'due south how I feel.
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Tip #2: Syphon free energy from your jealousy
Jealousy – as already mentioned – has been programmed into us for thousands of years.
Anybody feels jealous at times – even animals.
Your buddy'due south 24/7 drooling bulldog, who answers to the loving name Alberta, starts barking terribly when she notices that her principal is paying more than attention to someone else.
Withal, equally yous take already learned, morbid jealousy leads to the things you fear most:
Your girlfriend actually leaves you at some point when you rob her of her freedom, which ultimately leads to loneliness.
Therefore, it is even more important that you don't requite your negative feelings control over sabotaging your behavior.
If your girlfriend comes habitation late, equally shown in tip #1, don't accuse her of the almost demonic, inhumane things.
Instead, stick to my four-step programme as soon every bit you feel jealous:
- Pace 1: Become aware that you feel jealous and close your eyes.
- Footstep two: Breathe in and out deeply while focusing on the feelings in your body. Are you getting a twinge in your chest? Exercise you feel any tension in whatever part of your trunk? Focus on that.
- Pace 3: Breathe through your feelings – for instance, if you feel the tension in your back, imagine that you breathe in and out through this tension each time.
- Pace 4: Equally soon as you gradually feel that you're inbound a calmer state, slowly open your eyes again.
Now you're in a calmer state, in which it is much easier for you to act more conspicuously and constructively.
You gained control of a big part of your jealousy.
This four-stride plan may sound a bit like wishy-washy spiritual humbug at get-go sight, but trust me:
Endless men I have recommended this tip, silence their paranoid thoughts regularly with the assist of this 4-footstep programme.
Tip #3: Boost your confidence
Whether on Television set, ads, or social networks such as Facebook or Instagram:
We are bombarded 24/7 with ideal images of perfect women and flawless men.
While women with the measurements 90-sixty-ninety are praised like goddesses on catwalks, the perfect man should not merely be 'muscular built, tanned, and be able to stem 200 pounds – no, he must also drive a Bugatti Veyron and traipse around in designer rags.
All this is suggested to usa in the media.
Where does this lead to?
It triggers the urge to compare ourselves with utopian, photo-shopped ideal images constantly.
A comparison that we can never win thank you to Photoshop.
The edited Barbies and Kens of this planet are meant to make u.s. feel as if we were never adept enough.
And that makes sense.
Because if we feel like nosotros're missing something to attain true coolness, we buy it.
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Mixed with a dose of morbid jealousy, this elixir is more explosive than a TNT charge:
You doubt whether you're good enough for her and experience a tremendous fearfulness that your mademoiselle will notice someone better.
Hullo, again, self-fulfilling prophecy! Thank you for helping me get rid of my girlfriend!
Women want to feel safe with their husbands.
But how can she feel safe with you if you can't even trust yourself?
And so, what is to be done?
The cloak-and-dagger recipe to finally go rid of inferiority complexes and morbid jealousy isn't every bit complicated as you might think…
Information technology reads as follows:
Strengthen your conviction.
When you're firmly convinced that you lot're the best option for your chica, something wonderful happens.
Not simply does your mindset modify fundamentally – only your behavior towards your daughter too reaches a new level of attractiveness.
Compare yourself to someone else? Hah, bullshit!
Compulsive checking belongs to the past, and your partner tin breathe a sigh of relief.
You care about her, only you don't rob her of her freedom.
What if she wants to leave y'all for another human being or maybe fifty-fifty cheats on you?
Her loss.
Yous feel similar she's choosing a loser over 'winning the lottery.'
And when she's gone, you trust that you'll meet another beautiful adult female, i with whom yous might even get along meliorate.
"Neat – Dan! Just how do I boost my confidence?"
Glad you asked, bro!
Fortunately, I've already written an article about how to free yourself from self-doubts One time AND FOR ALL and develop a James-Bond-ish self-confidence: < How to increase you cocky-conviction online presently
Hasta la vista, destructive jealousy!
Yes, bro, morbid jealousy can be a huge hurdle in a relationship.
Information technology's the relationship killer #1 and can separate even the most lovey-dovey couples inside a few weeks.
All the same, the fact that y'all came across this blog shows me one affair:
You lot're aware of its harmfulness and have decided to have proactive action against information technology.
And reading it to the end means you now have the tool to no be jealous in your relationship anymore.
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It's time to make the green-eyed monster your bitch!
Your bro,
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Source: https://www.attractiongym.com/how-to-not-be-jealous-in-a-relationship/
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